"The words I would say"

I wake up late almost everyday since , I don't know when . I always have a really hard time when it comes to "sleeping" at night . I just could't sleep . So much things on my mind . Even I myself couldn't stop myself from thinking , thinking and thinking . A few minutes after waking up . I find out something that hurts me the most . It feels like your heart being slice slowly . I wish I could shout and mourn for all of the pain I've gone through but I couldn't and remain silent . (T.T) All I can do now is nothing other than crying ( So weak . Hate it . ). Yeah , my life is so great right . Just woke up and what more to say last night I pray and hope for the next day will be better and it wasn't . Wow ! My life is so great man ! Thanks ! 

*Sigh* 

It is so sad to be involve in a very big misunderstanding in life . Especially with your love ones , the person who you really love , the person who mean so much to you . I face a very very very big problem in my life now . I know I am wrong at the first point . I know I've done so much sins and wrongs towards the ones that I love . To be honest , I never want it to happen and I don't mean to . But , it happens . There's NOTHING that I could do now . I'm stuck . It is hard for me to forgive myself . Life is too hard to handle when it comes to this kind of situations . Well thats Life . What do you aspect ? Happy life ? Fairytale .  Nahh . That only occurs in DREAMS . Dreams only STAYS as a dream , that's why it is being called "DREAMS" . But , I will try my best not to destroy myself and make things getting worst . Enough is enough for me . I hate to see myself drop so deep down each day . It is time for me to get up slowly now . I know I am not a perfect person and that is why I try to repent now . I want to make things right . I surrender everything to God . I can only plan what to do in my life . But , He is the one who decides it .

After taking my ( breakfast+lunch ) I online . At first I wasn't in the mood at all . All I feels is nothing other than sadness and pain . Then I found this song . I never heard of this song before neither do the band . The first moment I listen to it I start to fall with the song . The words in the lyrics catch my heart and soul . My heart saying 'Hey , this song really make me feel better !' Yeah , I know it sounds so "s" . But , it's true . That's the beauty of musics . I love musics so much in my life . I cant live without it . So do you aite ? :)

Like what Bob Marley said :

Bob Marley ! I love you ! Haha . Lol !

And here's the song : 

"Sidewalk Prophets - The words I would say ."

Three in the morning,

And I'm still awake,

So I picked up a pen and a page,

And I started writing,

Just what I'd say,

If we were face to face,

I'd tell you just what you mean to me,

I'd tell you these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

These are the words I would say,

Last time we spoke,

You said you were hurting,

And I felt your pain in my heart,

I want to tell you,

That I keep on praying,

Love will find you where you are,

I know cause I've already been there,

So please hear these simple truths,

Be strong in the Lord and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

These are the words I would say,

From one simple life to another,

I will say,

Come find peace in the Father,

Be strong in the Lord and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

Thank God for each day,

His love will find a way,

These are the words I would say 

I really love this song . It really suits my situation now . Thank God I found this song . It makes me feel better for now. (I guess ) It means so much to me . The words lead me to think more positive . :)

You guys should listen to it too . It's a good and nice song to hear :)

Happiness ? Where are you . Where have you been ?

Did you ever feel that you don't belong in this world ?

Anything that you do seems not right .

Everything is a mess .

But you never mean it and want any of it and it happens .

This picture is taken in the middle of this year (June).

What more to say when you are in a big trouble , there is NO ONE be there for you by your side to make you feel alive even for a second . I  just need a friend . A true friend who understand and who accept me for who I am . I am not perfect like someone else . I have lots of dis-perfection in me .

I don't like friends who are only be with us only when we are okay . When we are not , they will vanish their selves just like "Chipsmore" being eaten by a cookie monster . Wtf ! There are rubbish of them out there . Damn .

*Sigh*

Sometimes I keep on wondering why my life is so miserable than other people . 

I just want to feel Happy again . Love . And anything that makes me Happy in my life . Enjoying life ... Hmm ...

Why can't I ?

Slowly I feel that my life is getting so damn hard and tough .

As I grow old I've made so much mistakes in life .

Mistakes that I never want to . 

Why life must be so HARD ?

Questions . Questions . Questions !!! Keep popping out from my mind that I myself couldn't answer it . 

But , no matter what .

I will try my very best to think positive .

Maybe , there is a reason why does this happen to me . 

Patience .

Maybe what Albert Einstein says is true . Hahaha . Let's see . :)

In so much Pain & having so mixed up feelings .

For now , I just don't know what to say . 

Life getting harder as I grow older .

Got so many problems now .

So stress .

*Sigh*

All I can do is nothing other than just following the flow .

I don't ask for trouble .

I NEVER want it .

But , things happen .

:'(

I will be off from anything for now . I just need time and space to breath . 

Meet Bom Bom . :)

Hey guys , meet my friend Bom bom . That's his 'manja' name given by me and he call me bam bam. He's the first one who made up all of the ideas for our names . Such a funny name . But , it's okay . I kinda like it . :p

I miss him alot . I'm so sad didn't get a chance to see him before he went back to his hometown (Sarikei). Well , maybe next time we will meet again . Hope to see him again . God bless him and his family . :)

Trespassers William - Vapour Trail ( Love this song. )

First you look so strong

Then you fade away

The sun will blind my eyes

I love you anyway 

First you fight your smile

I loved you for a while

You are a vapour trail

In a deep blue sky 

Tremble with a sigh

Glitter in your eye

You seem to come and go

I never seem to know 

And all my time

Is yours as much as mine

We never have enough

Time to show our love

I make my new Blog

Why ? 

It's because my old ones were so hard to manage .

So, I made a new one .
Well , forget about that .
Let's begin a new one . New book . New journey . :)

Today , I really miss my parents .

 Especially my mummy .

I miss her so so much ! 

It's been 4 days they are not at home .

So lonely . :'(

I miss both of them . :(




My favourite song for today is Vapour Trail By Trespassers William .
It's a sad song . But , I like it . It suits my feelings for today .